So, what happens to me next? In the previous post of mine, I told you about the “before” part of my life, but what about “now” being a fashion journalist in Paris? When you are in university, as I was until recently, all you dream about is graduation. Right after finishing, it feels like you will be able to do whatever you want (meaning working twice as much and sleeping just as little), but when you do graduate, the reality slaps you in the face. There are some people, who are not ready for it at all, so they start panicking, but there are others, who just do things, no matter what. To be perfectly honest, I am a crazy combo of both. The biggest issue for graduates is to find a job, so I keep on telling everyone not to worry and that there is a suitable place for everyone, whereas in my own head, I sometimes imagine ending up as the biggest looser of all.
I literally spend my whole life panicking, but I also pretend to be ready for anything. And you know what? The more you pretend, the better you are at it, so most of the time I feel like I am ready for whatever is coming, when I am totally not. For example, I thought, I spent the last 10 years getting ready to live in another country, but the first time I got sick after coming to Paris, I was sobbing like a baby, as there was no one to ask for help.
I always dreamt about living abroad. Thanks to my family, and everything they gave to me, I had a chance to travel a lot from an early age meeting foreigners and “soaking up” lots of new things such as culture and local lifestyle. I spent my holidays in Great Britain learning English. Somehow, life there was so much more appealing to me. I analyzed, what I felt like at home and away, and the conclusion was that the second option fits me better, so I made a decision to move from Kiev as soon as possible. I could have done that right after high school, but it did not happen, and I am now happy about it. Once again, life proves that “everything happens for a reason”, and there is no way to get away from it. Things that are meant to happen will eventually happen even if a bit delayed.
After considering my possibilities, I ended up choosing Paris because of Sorbonne and fashion. Firstly, I want to get a Master`s degree at one of the oldest universities in Europe. Secondly, I aspire to find an internship, which will lead me to a proper job here, in the world capital of fashion. Moreover, I want both at the same time and right now.
In pursuing my dreams, one challenge was the language. Unfortunately, the level of my French is not good enough to apply for a Master`s program right away. That is why, I decided to spend one term at Sorbonne improving my French and practicing as much as possible in order to apply afterwards. Another challenge was the visa, and I won`t waste our time telling you that when you come from a country like Ukraine, you need a lot (and I mean A LOT) of documents to get it. I had a couple of weeks of hell, but in the end I got it, so no complaints.
Apart from that, I had to find a place to live, and I searched on various websites. I sent dozens of messages and e-mails looking for a room in a dorm/shared apartment and had a few adventurous experiences. I was contacted by a couple of frauds, who pretended to rent flats, but actually they were just trying to steal money from me. One should be very careful! Luckily I knew the right person, who gave me the contact of a lovely couple, who rents tiny flats around Paris for students like me. I was prepared living somewhere in the outskirts of Paris, but ended up at a luxurious “Place Saint-Michel” for the same amount of money. Magic really does happen from time to time!
view from my window
While planning my trip, I contacted about 10 fashion websites and magazines regarding an internship, and most of them did not reply. Did it upset me? Yes, it did, but in no way it weakened my enthusiasm. Soon the round two of “aggressive” search is coming, and I will be happy to share it with you later on.
I do find it important to mention that when your dreams come true, such as moving here and being a fashion journalist in Paris, you do not necessarily feel the happiest, because there are still so many predicaments to tackle. Moreover, you feel guilty for not being able to enjoy the moment for 100%, as you feel the radical change in your life. You realize that maybe you are less prepared for it, than you thought. That is why the first couple of days are especially difficult and confusing, but it does get better. Don`t be too hard on yourself! Your mind clears up, and the future is not as terrifying, as it seemed the day before.
I have now been in Paris for a little bit more than a week, and I have just started my French classes. Meanwhile, I am going to start looking for an internship, and get used to being where I am and feeling comfortable about it. I love this phrase: “Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?” I have always been afraid of the first state, and deliberately chosen the second one. I love being young and not knowing answers to all questions. I love the freedom to choose exactly, what I want to do, and dedicate myself to it. I love being uncertain and scared, because knowing everything is boring. I do love that I am still young and naïve, because it gives me power to become, whoever I want to be in the end. I do not want to listen to those, who do not believe in me, or try to belittle either me or my dreams and goals. There is a lot coming, I am sure, and I am looking forward to it all, as well as doing my best in enjoying the moment.
Cover photo is of me and the new Fondation Louis Vuitton in Paris.